Choosing the Right Photo for Your Profile

Writing your dating profile may seem like a daunting task, or it might flow with prose and promise.  However, your witty self description may not even get read if your ‘shop window’ fails to attract genuine prospective dates.  It is always worth remembering that a first impression is formed within three seconds of meeting someone for the first time, and this applies to your profile picture too.  You do not have to be blessed by the gods in the looks department; you just have to pick the right picture.

Photos to avoid        

Fun-loving Drunk - You may have had a great time on the hen/stag night, but the bunny ears or the “what happens in Blackpool stays in Blackpool” tee will only come across as cheap.  This is particularly worth avoiding if you are hoping to be taken seriously and find ‘the one’.

The Missing Ex - Pictures where there is an anonymous arm around you will pose questions.  It is human nature that we like to think our partner was never really intimate with anyone else before we came along.

Model Perfect - Pictures that are portfolio material, perhaps posed for in a studio, give the impression of vanity or the suspicion that it is not even a picture of you!

Glamour Shot - Half naked pictures are seriously tacky and rarely attract women.  They suggest you are not genuinely looking for love, but something else entirely. Women dressed provocatively also give the same impression, and yet it is often the women who use such pictures that are most likely to complain about always attracting the wrong type of men!

An old Classic - A picture you had taken a few years back may have been the best photo of you to date, and may get someone interested initially, but unless you are blessed with retaining those youthful features (and if so, please share with me your secrets) it is a con.  If the contact develops into an actual date, you can expect them to comment.  Perhaps they will simply snigger to themselves if you are lucky, but more likely they will say “You look completely different in person” if they are being kind, or they may even turn on their heels and walk away.  Either way, it will make them wonder what else you have exaggerated!

No picture/hidden face - What is this person hiding?  They will not think you are shy.  They will think you must be already dating or even married!

The Perfect Profile Photo

As I previously suggested at the start of this article, your photo is like a shop window and needs to entice people to want to know more.  The key is to look as natural as possible, and here are a few hints:

Look at other profile pictures as a tutorial exercise.  Understanding your own initial reaction to them will help you avoid making any of their mistakes, or give you ideas for your own picture.

Get a friend to take your picture for you, or use a camera with a timer.  Self taken photos involving your mirror reflection or holding the camera at arm-length can be distracting from your actual appearance.

Ensure you look your best, but not over done.  Unless you usually pile on the war-paint, present yourself as though you were going out for a drink at the pub or meeting up with friends.

Make your face the focus of the photo, so just head and shoulders.  If someone has to squint to zoom in on your actual features, they may not get a clear enough idea of your appearance and pass you by.

Smile.  A smile is friendly and inviting.  Try not to look like a Cheshire cat, but a scowl will look like a mug shot, and possibly scare people off!  If you have a friend taking the picture for you, then they may help you relax, rather than pose.  A final note here, pouting your lips or flexing your muscles is neither cute nor attractive!

Take several pictures so you can choose from a selection.  This may be time consuming, but it is worth it to be able to choose a picture you are happy with.  Remember that the photo you use will be your first impression, so by following these tips you will look both inviting and irresistible.  Good luck!

©Meriel Flavell 2009

Meriel Flavell
Freelance Writer
www.merielflavell.co.uk